Studio52Seven

Life often burdens us with memories of past wrongs and offenses—unresolved grudges, painful experiences, and emotional wounds. These memories can weigh heavily on our hearts, much like the clutter we accumulate in our homes, things that once seemed valuable but eventually lost their significance. Just as we clean out our closets, pulling out the clutters from where they had been hidden and stored, then shred and burn or dump them for the landfill, we must also clear our hearts by choosing to forgive. The past hurts must be unplugged from their guarded vaults and “forgiven,” releasing ourselves from their weight and other associated costs.

Clutter indeed does more harm than taking up space. They attract pests, bugs, rodents, and dirt. Ever wondered how the corners where clutters are tucked away do not get cleaned? They become breeding grounds for other things that otherwise would not be sharing space with you.

• Someone hurt you.
• You smiled, reminding yourself that “revenge is better served cold.”
• Then you file it away in a corner of your heart.
• A day later, it has grown 10 interpretations, and from that,
• You chided yourself for missing out on 20 different ways you could have responded at the time.
• Presently you are nursing 100 ways you would retaliate. One hundred possible reactions that are non-edifying and would hurt the relationship.

We file away the pain, the bitterness, the resentment, hoping that they will keep the memory alive and one day serve as our justification to strike back. Sadly, like my clutter, we grow old with those pains and resentments and often forget why we stashed them away so effectively in the first place. Remember those annoying moments when you search your memory so intently for the reason you are so unhappy with someone with whom you should otherwise have a far more cordial relationship?

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

Ephesians 4:32

Forgiveness is Not Just an Act of Kindness Toward Others

… It is a vital step toward our inner peace. Holding onto anger and resentment is like carrying unnecessary emotional baggage. As I recently went through my belongings, I realized that many items I had once deemed important were now just clutter, taking up space without purpose, constraining the freedom to think of new purposeful additions, and adding needless weight to my luggage. In the same way, unresolved emotions from past offenses serve no real purpose besides keeping us agitated and irritable.

Forgiveness is Not Just a Spiritual Obligation

… It is about releasing the past and choosing to not let it control our present. We may believe holding onto anger empowers us or asserts our right to justice, but this only traps us in a cycle of pain. Transcending the reason for pain and looking away from the person(s) we associate as its source takes the sting of the pain away. It also neutralizes the power from that source and releases us to stay on track as God designed for us. Staying transfixed on a hurt from the past can keep one plotting revenge for the rest of his or her life. The agenda for the day and the rest of life are hijacked. What better definition for something that is controlled by another? One’s reaction to pain can derail one for a lifetime.

Forgiveness is Not Excusing the Wrong that Was Done

… It means choosing to move beyond it and freeing ourselves from its hold. In forgiving, we allow God to fill the space that pain once occupied with His peace and healing. When God says, “Leave vengeance to me,” it is for times when due punishment is warranted, but He still calls on us to sheath our swords. Though forgiveness involves accommodating and even excusing each other’s inadequacies, it does not mean that we do not feel the pain or that the pain is invalidated. When the Lord said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do,” He was in the most excruciating pain any human could ever endure. We do not forgive because the pain has become bearable.

Forgiveness is Not Minding Your Business

… It is praying for the other person. Praying for the person that despitefully uses you. Blessing the person that curses you. Loving your enemy (Matt. 5:44-46). Choosing to align and submit to the annoying vision of that person you honestly consider clueless and allowing to be cheated. Like allowing someone to run over you. This is difficult. But Jesus instructed it (Luke 6:29) and Paul taught it (1 Cor. 6:7). Forgiveness is an attitude the superior carries. Ever seen a parent whining and throwing tantrums that the baby puked on her dress or gave her emotional distress by making noise (crying) when the parent needed some quiet? (Well, perhaps you may think of one somewhere, but rarely.) The parent is often stronger, accommodating of the fact that the child does not know any better, accommodating of the child’s weaknesses and frailties, wiser, and forgiving. Perhaps that is why we say, “To err is human; to forgive is divine.” Or should I say, to forgive is human knowing the aid of the divine. And you can do all things through Christ who gives you strength. Of course, this does not invalidate other means of conflict transformation and resolution as situations warrant and Scriptures permit.

Transcending the reason for pain and looking away from the person(s) we associate as its source takes the sting of the pain away. It also neutralizes the power from that source and releases us to stay on track as God designed for us.

Your Right to Stay Vindictive

Our world is largely run on the quilt-innocence worldview. One needs to be careful how one looks at someone else because one could be sued for giving the other person a “traumatizing look.” Okay, I do not think there is anything like that. Or is there? Anyway, the global culture is leaning more towards intolerance. A social milieu marked by the dangerous mix of narcissism and the morbid lack of resilience. Telling a child to eat his food is traumatizing. Asking him or her to sit down is traumatizing. Spank the child? That is criminal. Failing a promotion examination becomes a reason to commit suicide.

This resilience deficiency besides finding endorsements in various laws, ironically also encourages people to feel entitled to pain. An unyielding sense of obligation, and even divine responsibility, to keep a pain point fresh and in the broadcast channel. A painful way to chain oneself to the past. Tantrums are known in children. While they are largely excused—or ignored – at a certain age, they become irritating and unbecoming. And lack of resilience is a major trigger of adult tantrums and emotional dysregulation.

The Peace of the Season

As we celebrate the birth of the Prince of Peace, let us reflect on the true peace that forgiveness brings. God started it with The Peace Child, when the angels announced, “Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests,” (Luke 2:14), that was God setting the stage as He called for cease fire. And onto the cross, He modeled for us what forgiveness groomed by resilience looks like. Holding onto unforgiveness may seem like it gives us control, but it only keeps us trapped in the past. True power lies in forgiving, transcending the hurt caused by others, and trusting in God’s ability to heal our wounds.

This season, let us clear the emotional clutter in our hearts, forgiving not only for others’ sake but for our peace. Letting go of the burdens we carry opens us to a life of joy, resilience, and the peace that forgiveness brings.

Of course, we have memories to keep records. Let us put them to work and remember what God has done. Do you want something to catalog, document, and hold to? Hold to the testimonies of God’s mercy and kindness. Oh! How small the space you have to accommodate the records of His goodness. The pains that beg to be remembered do not have any room. Treat them for what they are – clutter and bug-growing trash.