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“Finally, he turned to Aaron and demanded, ‘What did these people do to you to make you bring such terrible sin upon them?’ ‘Don’t get so upset, my Lord,” Aaron replied. ‘You yourself know how evil these people are. They said to me, ‘Make us gods who will lead us. We don’t know what happened to this fellow Moses, who brought us here from the land of Egypt.’ So I told them, ‘Whoever has gold jewelry, take it off.’ When they brought it to me, I simply threw it into the fire—and out came this calf!’”

Exodus 32:21–24 NLT

Exodus 32 is a very upsetting chapter. Aaron was left for a brief moment to deputize. Like every delegation, it was a call to a higher office and leadership. Leadership is much like parenting, and nothing mirrored parenting as much as the leadership role God had called Moses to. Moses had rightly asked God, “Did I bear these people? Am I their parent?”

Children will demand what is not good for them, whine, and throw tantrums. You have to be strong enough not to give in. Aaron gave in. His request of Moses, “Don’t get upset, my Lord,” reminds me of a viral video where a child was pleading with the parent who was enraged because of what the boy had done, “Be calming down, be calming down.”

Aaron’s explanation of what happened betrays even his difficulty in making sense of what he did. He said, “I simply threw it into the fire—and out came this calf!” Really? Moses was on point to ask him, “What did these people do to you to make you…” Parenting and leadership can be so draining sometimes that the world can seem completely unhinged. One can get to that point where you are forced to cry out, “Am I the only one?” Moses once protested to God concerning his “parenting” and leadership roles: “If that is how you want to treat me, just kill me” (Num. 11:15). At such points, emotional laziness sets in, and following that, there is often a flood of irresponsible decisions. Actions to excuse one from the concerns and pressures of the moment. It is like lies that offer us an immediate way of escape—another “present help in times of trouble.” The real trouble, however, is that the trouble is only pushed forward and nitro-fueled. Never solved.

Ephesians 6:10 commands us to “be strong in the Lord.” Everyday tasks call for their share of challenges (Jesus said that much). They can wear one out. Paul challenges parents, children, and slaves alike to be strong at their various points of engagement with society. Those are the places where we get chipped off bit by bit until the pulp shielding our nerves is exposed. Irritability, frustration, and throwing in the towel happen, and then they stroll in and take their seats. We look for a path of least resistance and zero stress, if ever. Paul admonishes, be strong! Do not back down, and yet, do not fly off the handle.

I remember an occasion when we had a fire outbreak in our house. The room where the fire started was engulfed. Everything was burning, and the smoke was so thick that one could only see a few feet when we knew such was happening behind a closed door. My 3-year-old son was in that room and could have died either from the fire or the smoke. He was the only thing that was not burning in that room when we opened the door. Where was I at the time? I was pacing up and down in frustration and fixated—to my shame—on the fire, the loss, and what role my son might have played in causing the fire. After all, he was alone in the room.

The desire for heartache-free leadership and the utopian wish to parent the perfect and ever-obedient child are sad delusions we indulge in now and then. I was oblivious to the miracle my family was granted that day. To lose our courage and cool at such times as leaders or parents is not only irresponsible, it is dangerous. At such critical moments, we lose the wise-one-in-the-room advantage. If ever there is anything required of parenting and leading, it is to be an anchor at such times—to fight the natural drift to succumb to a devilish manipulation or to rain down an inferno. The sustained capacity to make quality and sound decisions every time is a non-negotiable posture for parenting and leadership.

To lose our courage and cool at such times as leaders or parents is not only irresponsible, it is dangerous. At such critical moments, we lose the wise-one-in-the-room advantage.

Aaron’s ordeal leaves me with the following lessons:

•             Be strong, and keep your head so you can stand on the day of battle

•             Grow some resilience

•             Do not be tired to stand your ground

•             Never give in to stupid, irresponsible, and dangerous decisions just so the child will stop his or her tantrums, or so that a difficult colleague or subordinate will comply. Such manipulation, once served, will not be satiated

•             Do not do anything you can’t stand behind as your product proudly

Lord, I know you can make me stand upright and strong in that which you have called me to. I receive your grace today to parent and lead more intentionally and courageously. To stay cool-headed enough to be the “wise-man-in-the-room” when the occasion calls for it.

Amen.